â€œbecause I love him,â€ I’m going to pass. If the reply is â€œbecause I know him, because I’m used to itâ€ then the answer is wrong.
And as the psychologist Goldie Mavrakis â€œif in a relationship you stay out of habit, this means that you’re doing yourself an injustice, can you blame the other person who is in the relationship, fair to and in the same relationshipâ€.
â€œOr do we have real reasons to stay in a relationship or if there are any problems fix them. In no case, however, we stay because: we have settled and we’re bored, we do not dare or are afraid to change our daily lives and our way of life, afraid to be alone why do we think that we will not be able to find something else. And while we’re not having fun, while we don’t have a real feeling, we get stuck in the relationship and â€œrottingâ€ as people not just as a relationship,â€ stresses mrs Mavrakis.
Those aren’t reasons to stay with someone. Would you like to realize that someone is with you because he doesn’t want to lose the shot? â€œWho are you running now and are you looking for…â€ is not what we mean when we say relationship.
Love vs Habit. In order not to get confused…
â€œIf you love and I’m sorry, I don’t see flaws, you get over difficult situations, you try, your soul hurts, if something is not going well or even if you think that he can end the relationship, then it means you have emotion. You feel this feeling in every way. With tenderness, with jealousy, with assertiveness, with disappointmentâ€
â€œIf you are completely Î±Î´Î¹Î¬Ï†Î¿ÏÎ¿Î¿ if it went through or not with another, I don’t care if you hang out with friends and you go out with your own friends, I don’t claim anything, I don’t find joy in things you do together, then that means that there is no feeling, and that you don’t put an end to it only because you’re used to a situation and you think: where do I find now a new home to move (because moving), where you will find some new groups (because the groups are the same), where would I find another job (since you work together and you don’t want to see him if you split it)?â€ But here we are talking about settling and not for love,â€ explains psychologist.
You staying or leaving?
Staying with someone only because you associate things. Why are you close, because you feel and he feels, because you’ve built something together that is called a relationship.â€
â€œIf it’s because day in, day out, you’ve learned that you’ll get a phone call or I get a phone, you will find yourself or you’ll be back together at home and fall into bed like a couple of friends that just share the same room, then you don’t deserve to be with the other,â€ explains Goldie Mavrakis.
The power of habit is great. The settling is a huge trap sometimes, especially when the future looks unclear and difficult. But…
â€œWe created a lot of problems if we live only by habit. Nor is the relationship going to be helped, and neither have we as people become better -if we stay because we’re used to each other and not because we love himâ€.
Because you know him, you know him, you know that’s wrong and you have to learn to Î½Ï„Î¹Î»Î¬ÏÎµÎ¹Ï‚ with them. And that has plunge into a conformity from which you have nothing to gain. But you can create several negative situations….
-Misery, A gray tint will color your mood, your days, your life. Your psychology will fall.
-Resignation… I don’t claim, you don’t try, you don’t â€œfightâ€ in general.
-Boring… â€œdon’t have any interest. And it’s not just the emotional piece, but poisoned and as a personalityâ€.
-Low self-esteem… â€œDropping your self-esteem because you realize that you don’t want to be together, but you are staying because you are accustomedâ€.
What to do…
First of all, to get it through your head that I don’t honor anyone, not to dare to make changes in his life if something goes wrong. It’s not the easiest thing, but I have to.
When it comes to your relationship -an important part of your life – in which the hand of the habit for good, then you definitely have to do something…
The psychologist Goldie Mavrakis you propose:
-â€œAs honestly, directly and decisively, the announcements and the finish the better it will be for both of youâ€.
-â€œFirst you look inside yourself before you do the action, very seriously, very carefully and say: now I love him or I’m just bored to make changes?â€
-â€œIf you look carefully and see that you live only for reasons of nostalgia or custom then you have to make the decision and to work directly, efficiently, decisively and honestlyâ€.
Staying in a relationship just because you’re comfortable is not a solution. In this way you deny yourself, and from the other the opportunity to find something that you really deserve and want.