There’s no parent that doesn’t yell at the kid at some point. I wish I never did. I wish we had always the…
patience and calm to down, and down at the height of the child, to find a door that will lead us to the mind and to see clearly what is happening there and what triggered our frustration. But I don’t always make it. Sometimes, in fact, call more than justified.
As in any unfortunate event, however, there is always the “after”. There is a time to relax, to think and correct our mistake. And our children, especially while it’s still small, it’s incredibly generous to give us this time and opportunity to become better for those in order to learn from our mistake.
What can you then do after you yell at your child, in order to show him that you regret and that you want to get back together?
Calm down
The more times you call the children, the reasons are not derived from the same. Usually we feel tired, upset because of someone else’s (e.x. of a spouse), or invisible –that we exist, that is, but it doesn’t give us one. Our feelings, however, do not disappear after our voices. Usually, in fact, worsen.
The first thing, well, we have to do after you call is to give you a minute to ourselves, to calm her down. To realize what exactly it is that we feel and let the big wave of anger to subside. It’s okay to tell the kids that we need a moment to calm down –instead, it is a good example that will show them what they can do when they start to lose control, to be able to think and understand what they feel and why.
Apologize
After you have relaxed you should apologize. Maybe you feel the need to do it, but if not click the. Your apology is not related to the cause that made you take it out, but the way you reacted. Apologize, then, because call, because it might scare children or upset. Ask sorry you couldn’t find a better way to manage the situation and you made a mistake.
We want our children to learn that we are all humans, that sometimes we make wrong choices and sometimes we lose, but when this happens we take responsibility for our actions and apologize.
Explain
Sometimes, after you apologize, you’ll need to explain. To explain what it was that made you angry, because sometimes the message gets lost in the voices. To explain why I don’t managed your right the situation –and the reason is that we often forget that children are not able to understand how tired or stressed you are, if you don’t tell them.
We also need to explain how you should have reacted, because no one learns if you don’t understand what to do better next time.
Try again
Of course, even if you do all of the above (if you calm down, apologize and explain), the problem has not been solved. Therefore, we need to return to the issue that gave rise to the voices, in order to deal with this.
You may need to make a calm discussion with your children and to find together a plan that will solve the problem.
Maybe, on the other hand, need to find ways to fix your stress and make you more prone to the voices.
Maybe I need to think of some phrases or to prepare a little one particular reaction you try to have in the future, the times that I get upset, so you don’t need to resort to the voices. For example, to say to the child “Let’s not continue this conversation now, because I’m starting to get angry and I don’t want to call you”.
Come back with your children
Sometimes something such outbursts from us are a good reminder that we need to devote a little more time to our children. With the to come back it will show them that we’re sorry that we’re no longer angry and that we don’t want to see each other again in this situation in the future.
Making efforts to get closer with our children, and as present with them, we will be able to make them listen to us more, to accept the limits we put them and to discuss with them the various issues that arise without fighting.
Leave behind the ενοχÎςΤο chances are that when you think it over a little later, you will feel extremely bad for your voices and negative emotions that these have caused to the child. Don’t αυτομαστιγωθείτε with guilt. Leave it behind you. All of us make mistakes –the important thing is to try to correct them and not repeat it. The important thing is not to lose contact with our child.
Source
You call the child? Learn what you need to do immediately after
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