the time to do a debate on the cost of debt and your financial situation. Your aim should not be to scare the kid, so don’t dare ever again to ask for something expensive or to create guilt for his greed, but to understand the reasons that you are not in a position to offer him the sky and the stars.
It’s not just the fact that we are in a period of severe economic crisis does not allow us to perform every small or big desire of our children. Is -and maybe this is most important – that children need to understand that in life you don’t always take what they want from others. And this is a lesson I can take from you. Or rather, that it’s better to get it from you.
So, depending on the age of the child, when asked for a very expensive gift, don’t settle for a dry “no”. Instead, try the following:
Understanding and explanation
“I would very much like to be able to take what you wish, but you can’t get this expensive tablet. We need the money we have to get things for the whole family, for home, for car. So we can’t take the tablet. This does not mean, however, that I don’t love you.” You don’t need to go into detailed explanations. The importance of the child to understand what is your reasoning and that your refusal has nothing to do with the same, despite other needs that are more important than a game. Then, you need to listen to what he has to tell the child, even if you attack, saying p.x. that you don’t care about it. To listen and only give him to understand otherwise.
Limits
“The game that costs a lot more money than we can spend.” Your love for the child has no limits. The your financial potential, but have. As your intention to give material goods. The phrase is essentially saying to the child that there is not unlimited money in the family, but say it in a more beautiful way. You say, also, that like many other things in your life, your expenses have to enter limits, for it rolls over the family life properly.
Dreams
“Put it on the list of gifts that you want to ask from santa Claus and if he can bring it to you.” In this way you don’t prevent your child from doing dreams, while at the same time leave open two scenarios: one is that probably until the Santa Claus, the child will have forgotten about the very expensive gift and accept it with joy, someone else who has requested, in a most reasonable price. The other is that you can do a family meeting with the adult members of the family and, if you all agree that the gift is indeed important for the child, instead of getting everyone something special (grandparents, uncles, aunts, godparents etc.e.) to gather together the money they need and get it. In any case, however, the child does not need to know anything about the… the con!
Objectives
“If you want it so much, why don’t you start collecting money in a piggy bank so that some time to take it?” Like this the child will begin to know the meaning of saving, but also the great satisfaction of acquiring something with the “own” money. To be sure, that if finally hit the target and get what it wants, the joy will be double and you will appreciate it much more!
Source
My child asks for expensive gifts: What should I say?
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