bother. I had taken part in disagreements, and even some physical fighting, but even then I never really “missed”. And then I had kids and the crazy bitch that was sleeping inside of me came to the surface..!
I’m always surprised with how quickly I go from zero to furious at times. When I’m in a state of perpetual exhaustion, the little things are usually great. And I don’t want to be angry with the child because he throws toothpaste on the bathroom mirror after the hundredth time I told him not to do it. I want to find my inner Gandhi and to stay calm. The problem is, I literally just finished picking up the mess in another room, I’m already 12 hours in the leg and I have a toddler stuck on me. Truth Gandhi never had to cut the diaper in some other creature? I believe not and this explains the levels of calm and zen.
When I’m late and I find my son to wash his hands with a banana, or I find out that my daughter had been stripped for the 38th time today and he’s pissing her dolls or when someone throws the cereal on the φÏεσκοσφουγγαÏισμÎνο my floor and it’s too late for coffee and too early for wine… I am losing it!
I’m crazy and that’s bad. Knowing that I’ll always run and you won’t reach it, I know that we all have to be relaxed with them and me. I have developed some techniques that help me to stay calm when I feel like I will explode.
Self-awareness
This is an integral part of γονεϊκότητας when my patience ends. Then I have to check myself: did I eat? I need a painkiller? A cup of coffee? I need to sit and relax a few minutes? If I’m tired, hungry or generally stressed, this has nothing to do with my kids and I have to fix it.
To treat my kids like human beings
To recognize that my children have needs and concerns is very important. Sure, it may not make sense that the 4-year-old screaming at me because I opened the chest of drawers and “wanted to do THIS”. But in the small mind, that is something important. I have to remind myself to take a step back and remember that I’m not subject to a drawer just because it’s a brat, he’s a man with his own thoughts and ideas about how the world has to work. And it’s my job to help him learn to function properly and the screaming and I was like “Why can’t I get the drawer for σÎναααα?” like crazy will not help him to learn his lesson. Goes without saying right? And yet it’s hard to remember when you’re about to explode!
The to take a break is crucial. Can you hear me? ΖΩΤΙΚΗΣ.
I still have guilt at times because I can’t be that kind of mom who loves to be with kids all day, every day from now until they leave the nest and I cry as I watch them go past. But I’m not that man! This takes us back to self-awareness: I know my limits and I try not to get over it. When I touch my limits, I’m always looking for a way to take a break. And when I ignore the signs, the crazy anger in me, it comes howling back in like a lion.
The to forgive myself and my kids
This keeps me from sink into depths of despair. When I do shit, I’m sorry. I use my mistakes as a proof for the fact that I’m a person with flaws and I hope that my children will learn something from my honesty. I’m not saying that I am perfect man, but I know that despite my imperfections I am a good mother.
It’s not impossible to be a good parent because you’re irritable. Just try to keep the madness in your head until you can navigate it properly. Like let’s say a bottle of wine!
Source
How to restrain yourself when you’re irascible parent
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